CATEGORIES

STARDATE: 2038 ARMAGEDDON!

14 years not enough to stop total wipeout

GRANIT XHAKA IS SWISS ROCK

Midfield maestro manages to put Kroos and Gundogan in the shade

LIVING BLOOM

Growing pains worth it on path to semi-final

Love of squad

SOUTHGATE'S FOCUS IS ON PLAYERS' NEEDS

TV TEC: LET ME HELP FIND JAY

‘I'll get answers in just 3 days'

£300K WINNER DROPS DEAD FROM THE SHOCK

Tragic win for punter

PIRATE SURFER SHARK DEATH

Actor dies in Hawaii tragedy

Rob's wife: Carers are the heroes

RUGBY ACE LEGACY VOW

I'll have a White blowout

ANYONE disappointed by Caity Baser's live performances next month can blame Ibiza.

KIDS JUST WANT TO BE GAMERS

Top job choice revealed

Battl of the soxes

OLDIES LIKE 'EM SHORT..YOUNG 'UNS GO FOR LONG

RISE OF THE DICK TURPIN CARJACKERS

Modern-day highwaymen target country roads

'His intention was to kidnap Holly, rape her repeatedly & kill her‍

COURT TOLD OF GUARD'S PLOT

PACKET IN

Cheese & Onion salesman blames Star for Kane row

GC: I'm coming back as a tall, thin model

GEMMA Collins is hoping to be reincarnated as a Victoria's Secret model.

GARAGE: NO SENSE IN BOZO!

Ukraine spat hots up

MARC MY WORDS

Stones backs his new partner for very top

LANDOH NO!

Second-placed Brit rues costly slip

THE BUTTLER'S DONE IT AGAIN

Deadly Jos inflicts fatal blows as Yanks spanked

CHEEKY DEVILS

Slippery Sneyd inspires Reds to rare double

ENGLISH CUP MISS

Impressive Royal Ascot winner to target Goodwood

ARMY RESERVES READY FOR WAR

Weekend warriors to get call-up

FURY AS RIVERS ARE POISONED

MOST UK rivers are polluted, according to tests by volunteers.

Psycho seagulls war with Cornish posties

ATTACKS HOLD UP THE MAIL

LATE NOT LATE

'Time blind' Gen Zers killing off punctuality

UTTER HELL' IN FLIGHTS CHAOS

FUMING travellers were left marooned for hours in \"utter hell\" after power cuts forced the cancellation of flights departing Manchester Airport.

FANS A WHIFF DRINK

Bots tip smelly cheese cocktails

Gotta bad feline

PET BOFFS: WE LOVE OUR CATS.. BUT THEY HATE US

SHOULD LINEKER STICK TO SELLING CRISPS?

Kane grins as Star man quizzes him on pundit's savage criticism

Down FOR THE account

AJ: I WANT SON TO BE A BRAINBOX