What ‘Good Sex' Really Means

It’s time to rethink what qualifies as a steaming-hot sesh in the bedroom!

- Esther Perel

Couples who have been together a long time know that sex plays a key part in a romantic bond. When the sexual connection is satisfying, it generally takes up a healthy fraction of the relationship’s energy. But when the sex becomes unfulfilling or scarce or there’s some other sort of issue surrounding it, all of a sudden, it can overshadow so much else (and not in a good way). Why does this happen? Well, the answer is complicated. First, it helps to understand that most people have a very narrow definition of sex. Too often, we think just about the physical act: a little bit of foreplay followed by intercourse that ends with an orgasm. But this description only considers so-called performance and results.