I never insisted on a man who checked all the boxes. But once I saw myself as someone who deserved to be picky, the whole world changed...
My friend Naina told me when we were both in our late twenties, “A guy can either pledge his undying love to me or hit the road.”
“But it takes forever for men to tell you how they feel.” I insisted in confusion. At the time, I had been dating my boyfriend for nine months, but he still hadn’t told me he loved me. He did say, repeatedly, that he just didn’t believe in marriage. As tired as I was of waiting for him to take our relationship seriously, I trusted that he’d grow up sooner or later. “I am not going out with anyone who makes less than 30L,” my friend Saira told me a few years later.
“That’s absurd!” I said.
At the point, I was living with a perpetually unemployed stoner. As tired as I was of bearing that my boyfriend wouldn’t even consider settling down until his career was more established, I simply couldn’t imagine kicking him to the curb based on his income tax bracket alone. But after the relationship ended, the fourth in a string of romantic failures, I could see that whatever I was doing, it wasn’t working. But instead of questioning my selection criteria, I just assumed there was something wrong with me. Maybe I was too emotional or needy. Maybe I needed to talk things through too much. Somehow, even though I had never used any selection criteria beyond attraction in choosing guys to date, I was the one who didn’t check all the boxes. “Make a list,” my mother’s best friend, Janvi, told me one day when I was visiting my family home. She pressed a finger into the table to really emphasise her point. “Write down the traits you can’t live without. If a guy doesn’t have everything you want, don’t even think about dating him.”
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der October 2016-Ausgabe von Cosmopolitan India.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent ? Anmelden
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der October 2016-Ausgabe von Cosmopolitan India.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent? Anmelden
Sorry To Burst Your Bubble, But There's No Such Thing As Hate-Watching
It's time to like what you like and not feel weird about it.
10 Things Women With Great Skin Always Do
Some parting advice for the suddenly a-whole-lot-glowier you.
How To Network Without Giving Yourself The Ick
Wave goodbye to embarrassment and say hello to new opportunities.
The Highs And Lows Of Hard Launching A Break-Up
When else do you get a free pass to be this messy?
Keep an eye out for Nic
The 23-year-old Indo-German content creator on jorts, parathas, and Ishaan from Taare Zameen Par.
The devil still wears Prada
We explore what your fashion choices say about you at your workplace and why dressing like a professional still matters.
Future forward
Seven of India's best designers give us an insight into their vision for 2050...and their all-time favourite muse.
The films that changed fashion
There are films that are sharp and stylish, films that love fashion and ooze it. And then, there are the films that metamorphose it. We round up 10 films that impacted the way a generation dressed; plus honourable mentions, of course.
Is bondage breaking out of the 'niche' restraints?
Has big, bad 'BDSM' officially transitioned from a sidelined kink to the sexual mainstream (hey there, Christian Grey)? Or has it been part of it all along...
Is speed dating...back?
Hear us out: one outfit, one make-up application, multiple dates.