singled OUT

WE’VE ENTERED AN ERA OF MYRIAD RELATIONSHIP STATUSES – COUPLED, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, OPEN, POLYGAMOUS, THREE-DIGITALDATES-IN-BUT UNSURE-WHERE-THIS-IS-GOING. But is flying solo the last taboo?

-  ALEXANDRA ENGLISH

for my last birthday, I bought myself the gold diamond ring of my dreams. More than a birthday present, it was a gift to myself for making the incredibly tough decision to end a six-year relationship the week prior. In my excitement to own the ring, I didn’t check the sizing before I bought it online, and so it only fits my wedding ring finger – not the finger next to my pinky on my right hand, specifically the ring finger on my left hand. The first time I wore it – before news of the break-up had spread – a friend saw it and rushed over to ask if I was engaged. She was so excited that I couldn’t bring myself to tell her it symbolised the exact opposite.

Being single this time around – now I’m in my thirties – feels different from the last time. Back then, I never wondered if being single meant being alone forever; I never searched for another uncoupled soul for reassurance that being alone was okay; I never wondered if I should have stayed in a relationship that wasn’t working just for the comfort of familiarity. Other people are different, too. Before, no-one rushed to reassure me that I’d find someone soon; no-one suggested getting back together; no-one felt they had to try to fix me up, or fix me. “There are, unfortunately, still negative connotations that come with the word ‘single’,” says psychotherapist Melissa Ferrari.