Money For Nothing

Financial therapy can help you confront your spending habits and  change everything, finds Alex Holder

- Alex Holder

My relationship with money has always been sporadic. During my years of irresponsible financial behaviour— taking the taxi to work, throwing Acne purchases on to credit cards—I also managed to make a few smart moves. Dating someone older and more sensible meant I could buy a flat when I was 24. I was doggedly career-focused and shrewd about job moves. But still, I’m often anxious about money; I spend lots of time thinking about it, but zero time actually budgeting or planning. After talking to financial advisers, the look of disappointment on their faces confirmed my fear that I’ll always be inept with money. That’s why now, aged 33, I’m sat in the office of a financial therapist. Yes, you read that right. Imagine a psychotherapist armed with your bank statements. Terrifying, isn’t it?

Simonne Gnessen is calm and—just like a normal therapist—she’s asking me how I feel, as well as how much I earn. She’s making me feel important and safe as I sit opposite her ‘on the couch’ in her Brighton clinic, where a two-hour session will set me back roughly £ 200 (₹ 16,000). Within the first 10 minutes, she knows about my parents’ divorce and my current income. “Are you more like your mum or dad in terms of your spending habits?” she asks. Yes, we’re going there already, but the question is relevant. Studies show that our beliefs about money can be set in childhood*: if money was tight when you were growing up, you might find spending painful. If your parents were strict about saving, spending recklessly as an adult could be a way of rebelling. I spend like my live-in-the-moment mother, but worry like my sensible statistician father, which is why I’m here. I’m in a complicated relationship… with money.