SWIPE ME, MAYBE?

Between trying to live by ‘thank u, next’ while wondering if Tina Turner had it right all along when she asked, “What’s love got to do with it?”, dating has never been a tougher minefield to navigate, writes Neville Bhandara

- Neville Bhandara

In December, actor Sharon Stone (yes, she of killer legs and envy-inducing cheekbones) found herself blocked from the dating service Bumble. It seems users thought it couldn’t possibly be her because, let’s face it, why would Sharon Stone need to be on a dating app? More importantly, if Sharon Stone is looking for love online, are mere mortals screwed? Is it not enough that we’ve survived the f*ckbois and the softbois, or that we’ve moved past cloaking, zombie-ing, roaching and love-bombing? So then why, in this hyper-digital world rich with pickings and swipe fatigue, is dating trickier than ever? I suppose this is the part where I add the disclaimer: though I’m not single, my partner leaves for university later this year and is not in favour of attempting long-distance. Tick-tock! And though I’ve relied on dating apps in the past, the thought of having to do it again doesn’t make it to my 2020 goals. It’s never been a more confusing time to be single. Here’s why.

IT’S COMPLICATED

As millennials, we’re caught between the boomers and Gen Z, who have differing approaches to love and dating. When I ask my parents their secret to being in love all these years, their answers vary depending on their levels of patience with each other. But the three pillars of respect, kindness and selflessness are always present, because “you can’t love someone if you don’t respect them; neither can you be kind or claim to care about them if it isn’t selfless.” While that does make you feel warm and fuzzy, does it still apply today? When I ask my younger cousins, they shrug and go back to their phones.