Embrace The Monstrous: An Interview With Nino Cipri

CICADA: Both Jeremy and Merion gravitate towards all things fanged, tentacled, and undead. What kind of comfort/empowerment/affirmation can be found in embracing the monstrous?

NINO CIPRI: On a more personal level: Monster is the name I give to my depression when I’m trapped in it. I feel like a monster: inhuman, alien, horrible, radioactive, destructive. It’s not an accident that this is what I’ve heard all my life—that my queer self is monstrous, that my trans body disturbs people, that my existence is a mistake or a joke. When I’m depressed, I’m too worn down to disagree with those messages. Embracing the monstrous is how I tell myself that it’s good to live in my body, to love who I do, to feel my feelings, to nd my own reasons to keep living.

(Sidenote: the Gay Babadook memes during Pride were GIVING ME LIFE, because he’s pretty much all of the above feelings wrapped up in a pink boa and top hat.)

On a larger level: norm activity kills people. I don’t mean that metaphorically. People die because the world refuses them entrance based on perceived deviance from “normal.” We are refused healthcare based on that deviance. We’re hounded out of public places through ridicule and refusal. We face violence (like all monsters inevitably do) and commit or consider suicide in higher numbers (because the world has no room for us). But “human” has a high entrance fee. Traveling from monster hood and assimilating into humanity demands stripping out the most essential parts of yourself.