5 Ways To A Happy, Lasting Marriage

Even in the happiest of marriages, the “D” word can sometimes rear its ugly head. We ask the experts for secrets to lasting happiness

- Sandhya Mahadevan

How many of us have been schooled on relationships before entering into marriage? The answer is none. We either learn from watching our own parents or standout influences in our lives.

“So, the first big problem is that we refuse in the first place to do due diligence by knowing what marriage or living together means, and what we need to know and do before committing to such a big responsibility,” says marriage counsellor Leonardo Talpo of Leonardo Talpo Family-Work Relationships. As a result, some of the common milestones that married couples set for themselves and their expectations of each other can test their ability to transition to “we” without compromising on individuality.

“If a couple is unaware of their own coping patterns, relies on them too much and does not take time to communicate and reconnect with themselves and each other, they may only realise at a later point, that they are living a life that they did not choose or want,” says counsellor Sylvia Sivanesan of Think Psychological Services. “It’s the little things that count the most. No grand gesture can ever be the ingredient that saves a marriage.”

Here, they share five basic rules that married couples should keep in mind:

RULE NO 1 COMMUNICATE CLEARLY, ALWAYS

As a couple begins to evolve in their relationship, so also does their manner of communication: They are at a stage when specifics can be discussed openly. It is most important to attend to concerns when they are small; at a stage when they are still manageable for the couple to work through themselves, without the need for counselling.