Our Christmas is...Different!

From a first Christmas without the family to spending time with a former husband – three writers tell how their festive celebrations have changed

`This will be my first child-free Christmas in 20 years' 

Lucy Cavendish, 49, lives with her four children, Raymond, 20, Leonard, 13, Jerry, 12, and Ottoline, nine. 

"This Christmas, I will be doing something that I never thought possible. I'm spending Christmas without my four children. Instead, I shall be tucked away in a countryside cottage with my new partner. There will be no big family meal, no shouting and squeals of delight, and no endless begging to pull the crackers. There will Just be him and me. 

In many ways, I can barely believe that this Is happening. I'm so wedded to Christmas, to the whole Joyful ritual of it, that the thought of being without my children would usually have emotionally poleaxed me. However, this year, something has changed. It feels OK, fine even, to put myself first for once. This year, It is me and my man, the newspapers, the TV, and lunch out. And I can't watt. 

Let's put this In perspective: for the past 20 years, ever since I had Raymond, I've spent every December making Christmas perfect for the children. I decorate the house, festoon the tree, cook the food. Every Christmas Eve we have drinks with the neighbours, and then read The Night Before Christmas. 

The children then go to bed, and I put out their stockings way past midnight. Then they wake up early the next morning full of chatter and excitement at what Father Christmas gave them. It has always been a joyful time.

But all this changed when my marriage broke up five years ago. Since then, Christmas has made me feel panicked and sad. For the past four years, I have quaked in fear at the thought of my ex having the children for Christmas and, so far, he has been very understanding.