CATEGORIES

BREN FLAKES LATE ON

Aaronson misses sitter to snatch opening day triumph

Emile delivers one hill of a performance

EMILE CAIRESS stood up to the Parisian hills with Yorkshire grit and secured the best British result in the men’s marathon for 20 years.

Chief hits the gold standard

PARIS 2024 president Tony Estanguet insisted he has “no regrets at all” about how the Olympics have unfolded.

KEEP AN EVEN KEEL

Hodgkinson must beware the pitfalls of new-found fame

CHAMPS WOBBLE

Miller opens the Lach

Tesco in Swoop on shelf swipers

TECH FOILS CRIMS

£35 for Cup snap at United

DEVILS CASH IN

A BIG PUZZLE

Was Sasquatch caught on film?

GONE TO DOGS

Oasis Noel says mutts and kids are killing our boozers

Max: I love the gym & hate booze

ATHLETE'S PARTY SNUB

Kelly's quack attack

'DUCK LEFT MY ARM IN SHREDS'

80 KILLED IN SCHOOL AIR STRIKE

Lammy fury at Gaza blast

'PSYCHO' GULLS GO CRACKERS

Birds smash phones

MONSTERS ON MARCH

Biggest spider beats extinction

PRIDE AT STAB VICTIM'S SISTER

Genie, 9, witnessed attack & escaped

LEMMY CALL YOUR SPIRIT

Star scoffs pizza while on a horse

Carpet kippers

'LAZY FITTERS LOVE A NAP ON NICE BIT OF SHAG PILE'

SKYFALLEN: 007 MOVIE CHIEFS KILL PERV HUW

Edwards set to be digitally removed from Bond hit

SCOTT: I'M NOT QUITE A SIR BRAD

DUNCAN SCOTT insists he belongs to the supporting cast of Team GB Olympic greats.

NO GLORY FOR DINA

Alfred's great as Neita the bright spot for GB

Birthday overload blows it for Tom

TOM PIDCOCK had his cake and ate it – but it ruined his chances of winning back-to-back gold medals in Paris.

A press gang Slot for Nunez

LIVERPOOL boss Arne Slot has already phoned Darwin Nunez to tell the Uruguayan striker he wants him to be the frontman for his Reds revolution.

Freddie made to be new supremo

ANDREW FLINTOFF would be the ideal “infectious” character to succeed Matthew Mott and help rebuild England’s white-ball outfit.

Sleepeaters

DOG FOOD ON MENU FOR DOZING COOKS

GOGGLEBOXER

Kellie: Daytime telly showed me how to look like a lady..

Go to the pub & get a six pack

‘YOU CAN HAVE A PINT AND BE FIT’

Hospital dash after psycho gull attack..

BIRD SWOOPS ON HOLIDAYMAKER

CLEVER BOGS

Toilet's the best place to come up with good ideas

Hate Britain

PM VOWS: WE'LL BEAT THE MOBS

Harry: Never kiss your dog on lips!

'IT COULD SPARK NEW PANDEMIC'