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It's dinner crime
JAILBIRDS MOAN ABOUT COLD PIES
We pay for MPs' £30M bar bills
BOOZE DEAL SPARKS FURY
Nerdy games more popular than footie
COMPUTER GEEKS OUTNUMBER FANS
KILLER BERT HERE TO STAY
Fallen tree kills man, 64, as worst storm in 14 years continues to wreak havoc
Le Tiss turned into David Icke of footie
STELLING: HIS WEIRD VIEWS MIGHT HAVE GOT HIM AXE
POLICE CUTS 'PUT CRIMS ON STREET'
Cops' £500m budget blow
HARRY'S ON THE LASH AGAIN
Now Kane's had pop at clubs after withdrawals
I KANE GO ON AND ON
Winter break gives striker a bit of R&R
Red man walking
RVN GUTTED BY EXIT
EFFING 'N REFFING
Officials must wise up, it's not all about them
DUCK SUPER
Ben has fire in his belly over Ashes
Ridoto rules
FERGIE STRIKES GOLD AGAIN
Nice face, shame about the liege..
HENRY VIII WIFE MUG ON A TREE
Rob turns dead mog into robot
£30K TO BRING BACK CAT
WRESTLE IN PEACE
Legend of ring dead at 86
Gen Z want crusts cut off sarnies
WHAT A BUNCH OF SOFTIES
Definitely Maybe take out insurance
FANS FEAR OASIS NO-SHOW
It's eyes down for Brit kids
BINGO-MAD YOUNGSTERS
WATCH OUT FOR LITTLE BIGFOOT!
Nippers on the prowl in deep woods
BEAKING POINT
Birds pack out RSPCA sanctuaries
People called John are tops for trumps
BIG FARTERS ARE NAMED & SHAMED
I've got a nasty case of TikBot..
PHONE ON THRONE WARNING
XMAS TREES CHAOS
Firs in short supply & they're pricier as well
-7C Temperatures take a plunge
WEEK-LONG ARCTIC CHILL HITS UK
Putin Vladdy loves Michael Caine films
.. NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT
400 RAIL LINES SHUT FOR REPAIR
Xmas chaos for travellers
DARWIN'S EVOLUTION
Reds striker could be key to Kop club's title bid
TAMING A MONSTER
Ruben told by Ruud he will be stunned at club's huge appeal
PLAYING A GYOKER
Amorim has answer to United's scoring riddle at fingertips
BENT WARDERS ON 'INSIDE JOB'
Gangs sneak crims into jails