LIVING APART - SAVED OUR MARRIAGE

Hannah Tan-Gillies and her husband found a unique way to make their relationship a success

- ANDREW CROWLEY/HANNAH

Growing up, I never envisaged my future self living in a house with a white picket fence, a few kids tottering about and settling down in the suburbs like a lot of married couples our age do. My relationship with my husband Liam was always a little out of the box, and so that ‘ideal marriage’ was never really on the cards for us. Saying that, I never thought we would be the kind of couple who would be living apart, either.

Liam and I met in a Budapest bar almost nine years ago. It was a chance encounter that quickly led to a whirlwind romance. Three months later, Liam quit his job and sold his house to live with me in Paris and then the Philippines, where my family is based.

We had our big white wedding on a beach there in 2018, attended by friends and family from all over the world. Because I’m a travel writer, we travelled ferociously and took life by the reins.

There was a point in 2019 when I was travelling constantly for work. So, when lockdown 1.0 was announced, I actually relished the chance to ground myself and spend more time at home with Liam. Yet the reality was far from what I imagined. As the lack of work chipped away at our financial and social security, it also chipped away at our marriage. Liam retreated further into himself, while I tried to control everything around me. I began exercising religiously, monitoring everything I ate and drank, and was determined to keep a positive outlook. I saw our home as a refuge – but it had become a prison for Liam.