Dear Carol

CRUSHING ON A POPULAR BOY There is this boy I've been crushing on.

- CAROL WESTON

I like him a lot. He's really popular, and he has a lot of girl best friends...but I don't know if he has a crush on any of them. The problem is he won't even look at me. It's like I'm invisible.

Dear Crushing On A Popular Boy,

Why feel invisible simply because this one boy hasn’t focused on you? You can admire him if you like, but try not to care so much about him. Set yourself free. You might have better luck if you start focusing on guys who all the other girls haven’t already noticed. Can you be the one to discover some great guy who might himself be feeling invisible? Someone who isn’t the captain of a team or lead of the musical but who is smart and funny and kind? Say hi, ask questions, give compliments. But no need to make it too clear that you like-like him. In fact, push yourself to be friendlier with a few different guys while you think about how you feel. This guy has a lot of girl best friends, and girls are allowed to have guy friends, too. If you go to any holiday parties or activities at a church or synagogue or place of worship, strike up a conversation with several different guys. That’s not breaking any rules.

MESSED UP

My best long-distance friend hasn’t texted or called me in two weeks. My other friend is boy-crazy, and it’s annoying. I’m always falling asleep in class. I’ve gone to four schools since fourth grade, and I miss all my friends. I’m sick of school and boys. I’m always trying to impress everyone. I just want to be on vacation again.

Dear Messed Up,