THE PITFALLS OF "GRAND-SHARENTING"

Most proud grandparents want to share photos of the new babies in their lives, but they may need to consider parents' rules.

- KATE STONE LOMBARDI

When my kids were born, I mailed out birth announcements. The cream-colored cards listed the baby's name, birth date and weight. My daughter's had a pink ribbon attached; my son's had a blue one. 

These days paper birth announcements (and gendered ribbon colors) seem incredibly antiquated, not to mention far too slow to arrive. So when my granddaughter was born last year, I couldn't wait to post the first photo of her, tightly swaddled, on social media.

Fortunately I thought to check with my daughter before I uploaded it. She asked me not only to refrain from posting any pictures of the baby, but also not to spread the word that she'd arrived. Why? First, it was my daughter's news to share, and second, she had a concern that I hadn't even needed to consider when she was born: digital privacy.

SHARING CONCERNS

Like many grandparents- and some parents I found negotiating the issue of consent around posting kids' photos a new concept. But think about the implications. My paper announcement, which had no photo enclosed, went to a few dozen relatives and close friends. Had I announced my granddaughter's arrival online, hundreds would have seen it, maybe more. It might have even been shared with total strangers. And it likely would have lived online forever.

Children today have a digital footprint before they are even born. (Think of all those pregnancy announcements that include ultrasound images.) According to a 2020 study conducted by the Parent Zone, a U.K. nonprofit that studies digital family life, the average parent shares almost 1,500 images of their child before the child's 5th birthday. The term "sharenting," used to describe this phenomenon, is becoming part of the lexicon.