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Take time to treat yourself

Psychologies UK

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June 2024

Does a spa day seem like an overindulgence you can't justify? Heidi Scrimgeour - fresh from an unforgettable experience - shares five reasons why you should reconsider...

- Heidi Scrimgeour

Take time to treat yourself

While clearing out my office recently, I stumbled on an old copy of this magazine. About seven years ago, I wrote my first feature for Psychologies, on the value of taking a duvet day from life. Life was something of a whirlwind - my children were three, ten and 12 years old, and I was juggling the demands of full-time parenthood with building a writing career. Suddenly overwhelmed by chaos, I felt compelled to go AWOL from my life for a day.

It was an impulsive coping mechanism - the domestic equivalent of reaching for the emergency pull cord - but it later evolved into a regular self-care routine. I wrote: 'Elbow-deep in dirty dishes and battered by the noise of squabbling siblings, I wanted to walk out and leave everything that clamoured for my attention to someone else. So I did. But, what began as a desperate, one-off measure has since evolved into a ritual; I take a regular day off from life and that keeps me sane.'

I even explained my formula for a life duvet day; I treated myself to a spa day every few months, paid in advance so I couldn't wriggle out of it when other commitments inevitably competed for my time.

But reading this took me by surprise. For all the confidence with which I espoused the virtues of a duvet day, I couldn't remember the last time I had taken an afternoon off for anything except a medical appointment. And as for a pamper day, I hadn't set foot in a spa hotel since before Covid.

And, yet, life now is more hectic than evermy children are ten, 17 and 19, and instead of the flexibility of freelancing, I am deputy editor of a parenting site, and increasingly needed to support my mum following the sudden death of my dad. If ever I needed a duvet day, it's now.

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MOVING FROM GUILT TO GRACE

How many times a day do you hear yourself saying sorry? ‘Sorry, could I just…?’ ‘Sorry, I can’t make it tonight.’ ‘Sorry, I’m not free.’ We apologise for taking up space, for saying no, for changing our minds, even for wanting something different. Sometimes it just slips out before you’ve even had time to check if it belongs there.

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