MONEY TALKS

Financial planner Aisya Rahman, shares how to start those crucial finance conversations with your future spouse

- Aisyah Rahman

Money is not a safe conversation. Do you talk about it with your parents, siblings or friends? Is it something you chat freely about over lunch? We rarely talk about our income or our debt situation. As you climb higher professionally, you have an image to keep up, and it gets harder and harder to talk about debt, for example. But what happens when women feel safe to speak freely? They start opening up. And one of the things they open up about is finance.

Talking about financial planning openly is still very much a taboo in Asia. There is a misconception that men are the only ones who are supposed to be financially literate. Even as a married woman, why rely on your husband for financial matters? In Malaysia, women typically outlive men by several years, which means we’ll be alone for a portion of our retirement. Aside from that, three things could happen: the death or disability of your partner could approach earlier than expected, or they could leave you for someone else. These circumstances will push you to be financially literate by force. What if you’re a stay-at-home mum who has never known about what goes on financially in your own house? I had a student who was a stay-at-home mum for 25 years, and when her spouse passed away suddenly, she was caught unaware. How do you become someone who earns an income 25 years after being a stayat-home mum? It’s a huge adjustment because it’s not by choice.

It is good to come clean about your finances if you’re at that stage of dating or courting when you feel the relationship is going to get more serious. Of course, it’s not always easy to come clean. Emotion tells you you’re so in love with this person, and you trust that everything they say is the truth.