RULE NO.1 - DON'T MESS WITH MAD KEEPERS

(I learned my lesson when I took on a black belt in Thai kick-boxing and I swear he wanted to rip my head off!)

IF YOU ask me, Steven Naismith has some set of balls operating with two top-class keepers in Craig Gordon and Zander Clark.

I've said it for years - all goalies are MENTAL.

So dealing with not one but two guys who think they should be the man wearing the No.1 jersey is brave of the Hearts manager.

I spent 20 years in the game and didn't meet a shot-stopper who wasn't mad in some way.

Listen, anyone who is willing to spend their life rolling about in the mud must have a screw loose.

I know from experience having done it a couple of times myself! There was Alan Main at St Johnstone. What a player he was ... but also an absolute crackpot.

The thing about playing in nets is that you have to be very vocal.

But Maino didn't know how to turn that off once he left the pitch.

He was the type who would call a spade a spade.

There were no punches pulled with the big man and if he had something to say you got it with both barrels.

I remember him going mental at so many new signings if they would shout "keeper" at one of the young goalies. "Learn their f**king name," he'd roar.

I played with a few others during my time in Perth like Kevin Cuthbert and Allan McGregor. There was Craig Nelson at Ayr, Richard Wright at Ipswich.

They all seem to have anger-management issues.

We called Kev "the Cat" because he was quite small but had great reflexes.

But if you tried to dink him he'd spend the rest of the day trying to smash the ball down your throat.

Greegsy was the same, an absolute fruit loop, as was Marian Kello at Hearts.