How to change your life: what the psychologist says

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- Dr Susan Kahn

THERE'S a famous quote by the poet Mary Oliver that asks, "What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" It's a call to action that reminds us of the fleeting nature of our existence and gets to the heart of my work as a business psychologist. Clients come to me when they're at a turning point in their lives - moments when events or circumstances have them rethinking, questioning and examining the way they live and work. This can be challenging.

One of the biggest barriers to reinvention are the self-limiting beliefs we carry with us, which box us in and prevent us from even trying. This produces a cycle of regret and missed opportunities. Yet I have to declare a wholehearted bias towards the possible and our innate potential for transformation.

It may not be easy and may require considerable effort, some good fortune and a shift in mindset but here's my advice for anyone seeking a personal reinvention.

Dig deep to discover what you want

Give yourself the time to think about what fulfils you and what might be lacking in your life. To do this properly, you’ll need to dig deep to look below the surface. We can often be strangers to ourselves. Have you ever had the sense that someone you’re close to is making life unnecessarily difficult for themselves? That you see the route out of their problems more clearly than they do? In the same way, other people may see our destructive patterns of behaviour and neuroses more clearly than we do ourselves. Know that anger or fear of change may be at the heart of a lack of reinvention. First we need to recognise this in order to change our behaviour.