Down memory lane

The quiet after the chaos of the early-morning school run allows for a sense of nostalgia to arise.

- PAT MCDERMOTT

The longest and loudest mornings of my life were those spent getting five children out of bed and off to school on time. Every morning our house echoed with arguments over spilled milk, missing footy boots and pleas for tuckshop money.

There were science projects about woolly mammoths to be loaded into the car and arguments about whose turn it was to sit in the front seat of our much loved "people mover".

"I didn't love it," muttered the MOTH (the Man Of The House). "It was like driving a tractor only not as comfortable." My least favourite thing on a school morning was signing overdue permission slips for school excursions. Volunteer to help and you'll agree that teachers deserve more money.

Overexcited children step in cow manure or giggle at the nudes in an art gallery before accidentally locking themselves in lavatories. Inevitably someone feels sick on the way home, which leads to a chain reaction.