The Piano Juggler

Put the squeeze on me, Baby

- Ro McGonegal

This car entered the Johnson family collection in 2002. While he was away at college, TJ Johnson’s dad and brother bought it in Defiance, Iowa, for $700. They got it from a woman named Dixie Shanahan, a woman with an abusive spouse. Eventually, she killed him and then went about selling off all his cars. The episode was chronicled in a true crime novel called Dixie’s Last Stand. Suffice that TJ’s dad was called to testify at the murder trial. “My in-laws lovingly refer to the Malibu as the Dead Man’s Car, but that’s only one of its few nicknames,” quipped TJ.

To be sure, there have been literally dozens of Chevrolets, from pre-War old to current, entertained by the Johnson family, but this car TJ can’t quit and has clung to him with the tenacity of a vestigial remain. “In the time I’ve owned it, it’s had four iterations, more or less, each defined by what engine was in it,” TJ cracked.

“I often get told that it’s deceptively quick. I don’t necessarily think the car’s a sleeper. It’s visible. It has a rollbar, slicks and skinnies, and the license plate says NOS. But the interior and rollbar are very tidy. The nitrous bits underhood are tastefully out of sight and the exhaust note is pretty tame. It feels good to catch people off guard and hear the things they say once they understand what it’s all about.”