Keep Calm, Mum

You made hurtful comments to your kid in the heat of the moment. The next time it happens,pause and say this instead.

- Dr Richard C. Woolfson

When you’re angry with your child for misbehaving, you sometimes say things in the heat of the moment that hurt or belittle her. Take a look at these five common statements and ask yourself if you’ve ever uttered them. 

The next time you want to discipline your child, take a few moments to reflect on what you want to say, and avoid these harsh remarks, which will only add to her distress.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Why are you always so naughty!”

That’s a general criticism of your child, not just a criticism of her behaviour. It is severe disapproval of her as an individual, and suggests that you dislike everything about her, not just the misbehaviour that triggered your remark. 

WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD: “You are usually so well-behaved, so I’m so surprised you did that.” 

If you start by emphasising that you feel positively towards your four-year-old in general, she’s more likely to listen to you than the reprimand that follows in the second part of your comment.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Mummy won’t love you anymore.”