Is It Time To Divorce?

Holiday stresses push many relationships to the brink. But read these experts’ advice before you decide to call it quits.

- Pieter Van Zyl

IT’S a new year but instead of having a spring in your step you just feel tired. Sick and tired. You were looking forward to taking time out over the holiday season to relax and unwind but instead all you and your partner did was bicker – about whose turn it was to unload the dishwasher, household expenses and the never-ending demands of family members.

Surely there must be more to life than this?

There’s a reason divorce lawyers don’t take leave in January – it’s their busiest time. For many people trapped in unhappy marriages the stresses of the holidays can be the last nail in the coffin, and often the start of a new year is seen as a chance to make a clean break and start afresh.

But before you set the legal ball rolling, know what you’re letting yourself in for, Cape Town family law attorney Bertus Preller warns.

Divorce can be an expensive and emotionally scarring process so it should really be a last resort, preceded by months or even years of trying to make the marriage work and weighing up its pros and cons, Preller says.

But how can you know for sure if it’s time to call it quits?

“Generally, there are no lightning bolts or magical signs,” celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser writes in her book It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way: How To Divorce Without Destroying Your Family Or Bankrupting Yourself.

“When the bad starts outweighing the good on a consistent basis, you may feel that taking the next step is appropriate,” advises Wasser, whose celebrity clients have included actors Angelina Jolie, Ryan Reynolds, Ashton Kutcher and Johnny Depp.

Divorce is a minefield. Here a therapist, lawyer, financial adviser, relationship counsellor and divorce mediator weigh in on all the things to consider before heading for the courts.

THE THERAPIST