‘We Have Purpose Again'

A young couple share their heart-rending story about parenthood and loss

- By Johané Scott. Pictures by Sharon Seretlo

It's a precious moment: the age-old ritual of a couple welcoming a new baby into the family. Monica Stark gently rocks her new-born to sleep then carefully puts her back in her pram while dad, Joshua, looks on lovingly.

But for the Starks, Anastasia’s homecoming is also a reminder of their traumatic loss. It’s been less than two years since a different baby lay sleeping in the same pram.

Isabella, the couple’s firstborn, would have been nearly two years old now, a toddler tearing around the house and demanding her parents’ attention. Instead, the only child sounds in the guesthouse in Ermelo, where the family live, are the snuffles and cries of a new-born.

Isabella was 14 months old when she choked on nuts and died in September last year. At the time Monica was six months pregnant with Anastasia. She tells us it was tough trying to come to terms with her loss while expecting another baby.

“It was extremely hard,” she says, gazing at her infant daughter.

She’s still battling the guilt even though she knows Isabella’s death was an accident. “But I hadn’t made her sit down to eat like I usually did,” she says softly.

Monica (22) didn’t want her grief to get the better of her and so, at the end of her pregnancy, she got a prescription for tranquilisers to prevent depression taking hold. Joshua (31), sitting next to his wife on the couch, talks about the different stages of grief.