How To Be That Hot And Heavy Couple

Want to amp up your sex life? Here’s what you need to know to bring back the spark in your relationship.

- Esther Perel

To this day, no-one fully understands why in the early stages of dating, couples want to rip each other’s clothes off—yet the longer they stay together, the more that urge fades. What we do know: that this happens often—like, really often. And there are so many factors at play with erotic cravings in relationships—and why they ebb and flow —that it makes analysing the phenomenon difficult.

For starters, sexual desire is an elusive and complex thing. It’s mental, physical, emotional, and contextual. It also occurs differently in women than it does in men. And we all have this story in our heads that if sex with a partner starts out hot, it has only one place to go: down. That belief in itself may be limiting us more than we realise. Sexual interest isn’t just a spontaneous motivation to have sex—it’s an energy between two people that can come about in many ways, including gradually over time.

All that said, I do have some theories about why you and your partner’s hunger for each other may die down as your love progresses—and how to get it back. Allow me to explain.

WHY THE LUST STARTS TO FADE