Abuse takes a heavy toll

While the pandemic has made it harder for women and children to escape an abusive relationship, a range of support can help ease the trauma

- Susan Hely

When I was a child, my mother Rosemary would tell me she wanted to leave my father, but said she had no money to do it. My dad controlled the purse strings. Everything was in his name: the house, the bank account and the car. She had to ask him for money and he would scrutinise her spending.

Rosemary stuck with him for more than four decades until one day he finally told her he had a secret second family.

Financial dependence is one of the biggest barriers to escaping an abusive relationship, says Hayley Foster, CEO of Full Stop Australia, which provides services for those experiencing sexual assault and family violence. The definition of violence includes physical, verbal, sexual, emotional, psychological or economic abuse.

Around 2.2 million Australians have experienced physical or sexual violence from a partner while 3.6 million have experienced emotional abuse.

Fleeing an abusive relationship can be financially overwhelming as it disrupts a person’s working life, plus they have to fund a new, safe place to live. It can cost a family around $20,000, according to research by the ACTU. It’s time consuming, too, with the ACTU estimating it takes 141 hours to set up a new home and deal with the legal issues of a separation.

Many people who leave can’t afford to set up a new home. More than 116,000 people escaping domestic violence, including a proportion of men, were assisted by specialist homelessness services in 202021, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. “The most important things they need are a roof over their head, food, transport to school and something nice for the kids,” says Foster.