I used to work in fashion and cinema PR, then I changed to state television. Right now, I'm making propaganda - content to support the Russian invasion of Ukraine, or the 'special operation', as Putin calls it.
I stand against the war, as do my friends and family. But I must - is that the right word? - work for the other side, that of evil. Recently, I had to do a presentation on why Ukraine is a Nazi country; that evening I shared news of Russian army crimes with loved ones.
I feel really, really bad, and absolutely exhausted. It's hard to live with this feeling. But I could go to prison for 15 years for speaking out against the war. So, it's about self-censorship, self-control. It's important to understand that although it's far more difficult for people in Ukraine, for Russians who oppose the war, it's stressful as well.
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