Simon Rex Doesn't Want to Be THAT Guy Anymore

The former MTV VJ partied his way through the early aughts, lost his career for a decade, and now, improbably, is being celebrated by the Hollywood elite.

- By Nate Jones

COME TO THE DESERT. Past the rock gardens and the suntanned retirees. Past the looming peaks of the San Bernardinos and the windmills that shine like sci-fi sentinels. Past the hippie chicken farms, the ammo shops, the CBD emporiums. Past the point where the pavement stops and the road turns to sand. Here, you will find the man who made “My Dick.”

For two decades, Simon Rex had been on a Gump-like tour of the least prestigious jobs in Hollywood: male model, MTV VJ, sitcom actor, Scary Movie doofus, white rapper, and Vine star. He partied with Paris Hilton when she was the most famous person in America and Charlie Sheen when he was. As you might guess, this was not the world’s most sustainable career path. Things slowed down for a good ten years. Looking back on this period, he thinks of a lesson a meditation instructor once taught him. “When you get a pie in the face, enjoy it. Don’t play the victim. Taste it. Smile,” he says, miming pedagogically. “That’s a good pie.” Not to get all “Tears of a Clown” on you, but he has tasted a lot of pies.