A Loved One Owes You Money Now What?

Your sibling asked you to cover their rent for a couple of months while they were between jobs. Or maybe you loaned a friend a few hundred bucks for a car repair they couldn’t afford.

You’d do anything to help those you love. And you did. But what should you do when they don’t pay you back? Consider these options.

GENTLY APPROACH THE SUBJECT

Asking a friend or family member for money back may feel uncomfortable. But sometimes a simple reminder is all it takes to jump-start debt repayment.

Before reaching out, think back to the discussions you had when you offered the money: Did you make it clear that this was a loan, not a gift? Did you confirm payment terms and a deadline? Did you get the details in writing?

Framing the conversation around facts rather than your feelings, or unspoken opinions, can prevent confusion. No matter the context, bring up the issue calmly (and privately) and avoid making assumptions. Using harsh or accusatory language can not only strain the relationship, but it can also make your loved one less likely to pay up.

“What we have to do is create space for that individual to come out of a shame mindset and perspective, and become less avoidant to engage in a healthy conversation,” says Michael Thomas Jr., an accredited financial counselor who teaches in the University of Georgia’s financial planning program.