Don't Tell Me I Can't......Be Happy Bigger

Deb Hodge thought being slim made her feel better, until she quit dieting

- Emma Rossiter

Staring at myself in the mirror I admire my curvy hips, my 40DD boobs and rounded bottom – I don’t even mind the extra weight I’m carrying around my middle. A size 16-18, I’m the biggest I have ever been, but for the first time in my life, I feel sexier than ever.

Throughout my 20s and 30s I worked tirelessly to have the ‘perfect’ body. I’d go to the gym at least once every day, monitored everything I ate, and every morning started with a weigh-in.

But staying a steady 9st wasn’t easy. At 5ft 6in, I was obsessed with my weight and if I even so much as put on a couple of pounds, I’d head straight to the gym and put myself on a strict low-calorie diet. It was exhausting and I never felt truly happy. ‘My hips look big,’ I’d obsess, or I’d convince myself that I needed to tone my stomach more.

Despite my insecurities, I had a few relationships, but none of them ever stuck. In 1996, I had my son followed by three daughters in 2002, 2007 and 2013.