Feeling Fabulous In Our 50s

Women in their 50s are more confident than women in their 20s, says a study. We find out why...

- Rosie Hopegood

‘I don’t care what people think’

Darlaine Honey, 59, lives in Kingston-upon-Thames.

Walking into the party in my slinky dress, I noticed a man do a double-take. A few hours later, I left with his number – happy that, at 59 and after a double mastectomy, I could still feel and look sexy.

I was 54 in October 2016 when doctors diagnosed invasive lobular breast cancer. I took it in my stride, especially as doctors were confident I’d be OK. I was in a long-term relationship but we split up soon after, and I ended up living alone. But I knew my kids Chay, now 33, and Dollie, 23, would be there for me, as well as my sister Mel, 58.

In May 2017, I had a double mastectomy. I didn’t feel sentimental about losing my 38EE breasts – I just wanted the next stage to begin. A year later, I had my new implants. I liked how perky they were, but without nipples, there was something missing. So I chose to get a beautiful floral tattoo.

But even with my new boobs, my confidence plummeted. The cancer treatment left me with joint pain and sped up menopause. Feeling like a withered old woman, I wondered whether I’d ever be up for sex again.

A friend suggested I ‘get back in the saddle’ – with him! I’d known him a decade, and there was always a spark, plus I could trust him. Still, I was nervous – it felt like losing my virginity again. But we took it slowly and I felt really happy. We still sleep together, but strictly as ‘friends with benefits’.