Personality Is Poise And Composure

How to achieve it.

- I. M. Soni

Poise is balance, stability, ease and dignity of manner, self-assurance, the condition of being calm or serene. We have to distinguish between poise and what is often described as possessing “the hide of an elephant”. Some people, determined not to be hurt, deliberately cultivate a tough inventiveness to others while poised a person shows consideration.

No one develops poise by reading about it, even though many helpful tips can be gathered this way. It comes from actual practice in meeting people, talking to them, dealing with them, without being on pins and needles.

Only experience teaches us how to cope adequately with such situations as finding ourselves alone with strangers, or saying the wrong thing. Everybody has to go through the same school.

Given the grit and perseverance to keep going out among people, we are able to learn a great deal from their mistakes as well as our own. It is easier to see where others go wrong and not as painful in recollection. We find what to avoid, and are able to see pitfalls such as the danger of talking too much or over-staying our welcome as guests who begin to stink like fish after a couple of days.

Learn from noticing the way a poised person enters a room, sits down, and relaxes in a chair. Or they may have the quality of listening which attracts people. Good listeners are poised. They are so much interested in the other person that they forget themselves.

Desire to make a good impression and fear of criticism has the same effect on us as a cramp has on a runner. It is difficult to coordinate body and mind. A fop forgets conversation and even the words to express what should be said.

We do not think ordinary people assume an exaggerated importance and become frightening. We fail with the result that we stumble, drop, bump, knock things over. All this happens because we are not giving the outside world our undivided attention.