'Moving 250 miles apart saved our marriage'

When the menopause hit Lucy Boulter, she feared anxiety and mood swings would affect her relationship with husband lan. So, to save marriage and soul, she moved to the Lake District - alone

- OLIVIA DEVEREUX-EVANS

Lucy Boulter, 53, is a communication consultant from the West Midlands and happily married to husband Ian, 59. When the perimenopause hit, she feared her symptoms would impact on their relationship – so she took the radical decision to move 250 miles away. Here, she tells her story…

'Struggling to do a jigsaw puzzle in my kitchen on Christmas Day 2017, I felt an overwhelming sense of rage. It had been a busy time and usually a puzzle would be a real stress buster for me. But that day I just couldn’t do it and it made me unreasonably furious.

As I sat there, trying to fit the jigsaw pieces together, I thought, “Oh my God, if Ian came in here now and saw the state of me, he’d think I’d lost the plot.”

At 47, I was at the height of perimenopause and I was scared – I didn’t recognise the person I was becoming. Insomnia and brain fog had really taken hold, not to mention these unexpected feelings of fury which came out of nowhere.

I could literally be halfway through a sentence and hit a blank wall, with no clue what I was saying. I used to have a reputation for having a very good memory, and it was truly frightening to lose it for a while.