ON GUERILLA WARFARE, Mothers & Daughters

As she nears her midlife mark, Sunitha Thayaparan reflects on the many battle lines drawn by her Tamil Tiger Mum.

- SUNITHA THAYAPARAN

Kids, the Tamil Tiger Mum makes every other variety Chinese, Jewish, and Catholiclook like a YouTube kitten _video. She's carved real estate  of her own: The Micromanagement Level of Hell, which El Diablo himself is relieved not to landlord. She invented the guilt trip, pilots the flight herself. Passive Aggressive mind games? Child, she wrote the book, sit down, shut up, and take notes. Every conversation in your teens is guerilla warfare, crafted with one sole purpose: to hone you into steely samurai resilience because it's tough out there. It's not dinnertime conversation, it's a battle of wits-can you hold your own? and when push comes to shove: "I have two Degrees, what's under your belt?"

If Whatsapp (mother believes this is a tracking device developed by Koum and Acton for her) had been around in the late 80s, well then, game over! Every discordant convo would've been screenshot and used as future ammo. Every blue tick with no response would have meant A, terrorists had got me, or B-worse! I was being rude, dismissive.

Your 20s and 30s are fraught with tension as you navigate life's landmines and attempt to tick the conventional boxes: career, marriage, kids, divorce, Tinder. Now, throw into the mix the hand grenade that is the TTM. Present, supportive if slightly judgmental (she can't help herself, she loves you to the point of self-sacrifice, but she was there first, knows better and can you follow simple instructions, please?).