"Your relationship with Tina is so weird on so many levels."
Someone I love and respect said this to me in a text last summer. Mind you, we were in the middle of an argument about something else, but the comment-about my relationship with my twin sister-still stung. Mainly because it wasn't the first time that person had implied something like this, but also because for a large part of my adult life, I'd wondered the same thing.
I'm 46 years old and have a fraternal twin sister, Tina. We have been very close since, well, forever. We formed side by side in utero and have been attached at the proverbial hip ever since. My parents love to regale people with our origin story: When we had to be C-sectioned out of our mom (we were premature, which isn't unusual for twins), Tina was on top of me and was pulled out first. Sounds corny, sure, but I like to think she was giving me a final hug before leaving our first home together.
Through a lifetime of firsts, Tina and I have been in lockstep: We did all the formative years of school together, then moved out of our parents' place and became roomies. We spent decades competing together in triathlons, half-marathons and adventure races. Even though Tina now lives in Burlington, Ont.-about an hour west of Toronto, where I live-we never go more than five days without seeing each other. She's the only person in my life I speak to dozens of times a day; she's that essential. Often our connection feels enchanted: I will think of something I want to tell her, and she'll reach out to me soon after. Tina is my go-to confidante for every lousy date, work drama and life joy. She was the first person I called when I broke off my engagement in 2017 and the first responder in the months that followed when I found myself in a dark place.
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