I hadn't opened a book all morning. I was holed up in my room, playing MLB The Show on my Xbox. I had a lineup of all-star players. I knew all their stats: batting average, RBI, slugging, OPS, WAR, ERA, WHIP, Ks. Those were the kind of numbers I could really get excited about.
My mom knocked and poked her head in. I kept playing. Justin Verlander was into his windup with a man in scoring position. Mom paused, then said, "Your game can wait, Jordan."
I sighed. "Just taking a break from studying," I said...unconvincingly.
Mom pursed her lips. "You can pass these exams," she said. "I know what it's like to fear failure. You can't let it stop you from trying. Eric and I have faith in you."
I nodded, not looking at her. I wanted to get back to my game. She closed the door, and I put the Xbox controller down. Now I couldn't even concentrate on The Show.
Truth was, I wasn't afraid of failing the tests. In fact, I might have been afraid of passing. What I was up against were the licensing exams to become a financial adviser. I already had a job with a good firm. All I had to do was nail these last two certifications and my future was set. But was this the future I wanted?
Going into the spring of senior year at Indiana State University's business school, my best friend had landed a great job at Amazon with a generous sign-on bonus and a good career path. At every dinner, Mom and my stepdad, Eric, would interrogate me about my plans, where I'd applied, when I was interviewing, all that. "I can help you with your résumé," Mom would say.
The pressure felt relentless. I needed to deliver.
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