WHY INDIAN MEN ARE SO Reluctant To Talk About Sex

While the women are making the most of their sexual liberation that has come with financial independence, it seems men are yet to catch up. The straight men in this country are seldom heard or seen talking about issues related to sexual intimacy. We try to delve deep into this curious case of the modern man.

- Geetika Sachdev

As an arts student at Delhi University over a decade ago, I was exposed to an environment that encouraged free speech. In 2008, when I decided to volunteer as a writer for a university publication, one of my assignments was to take charge of an anonymous column that would answer queries around sex, dating and intimacy.

I had mixed feelings about the opportunity. "Will people judge me for this?", "What will my parents think if they found out?"...such questions plagued me. Most members of the team had similar apprehensions but, it was mostly the boys who eventually backed out, calling the column 'silly' as a means to conceal their discomfort with open communication around sex and sexuality.

Cut to today, even in the digital world, nothing much seems to have changed.

“In a patriarchal society, think men feel more entitled to information about sex and pleasure and there are less consequences around men expressing their sexual agency as compared to women”

— Leeza Mangaldas leezamangaldas)

SEX TALK, OFF LIMITS 

While there has been a spurt in the population. of women sex-ed content creators who are doling out relevant information to spread awareness and highlight the right to pleasure, we hardly see any straight men doing the same. On the contrary, men in same-sex relationships are rather vocal.

Until a few years ago, the late Dr Mahinder Watsa, a trained obstetrician-gynecologist was a popular figure, who through his column- Ask The Sexpert- responded to sex queries of men and women with much wit and coherence. Interestingly, Dr Watsa was 80 when he started writing the column in Mumbai Mirror and soon became a household name, shattering taboos one piece at a time. Through his responses, people of all age groups from teenagers to the older generation-discovered more about their bodies.