Scene of Tory party central now has that cemetery vibe

The good news, Keir Starmer told us with a perfectly straight face, is that the rose garden at 10 Downing Street is now “back in your service”. The bad news, to borrow the PM’s latest social media jargon, is that he’s going to make a lot of “big asks” in the weeks ahead.

- JOE MURPHY

Wise voters will guess that the second sentence in the above summary will be rather more consequential on their bank balances than the first. Anyone left hoping for a free floribunda from the No 10 shrubbery will, I’m afraid, be disappointed.

A clue that Starmer was not giving a sunny address to the nation from his lawn was given in his distinctly non-barbecue attire: grey suit, grey tie, grey glasses, grey hair, grim expression.

His speech, billed as the starter for a new political season, was a confusing mish-mash: an attempt to look back in anger at the worst scandals of the Tory years while simultaneously admitting that things won’t feel better for a long while to come.

First, a reminder of the Conservatives’ most shameful moment, when the rose garden was the scene of Partygate gatherings and Dominic Cummings’s infamous press conference where he attempted to deny breaking pandemic rules. “Remember the photos of the wine and the cheese just over there,” cried Starmer, his arm sweeping over the patio in a rare moment of animation. “Well, this garden and this building are now back in your service.”