MUM SHAMED AT 15... AND 42!

Rachel Rowsell, 45, has given birth every decade since the 90s, with mixed responses

- SASKIA MURPHY, TIFFANY WALLIS

Running around after my four kids and five grandchildren and working as a life coach, my life was pretty busy already in 2019. I was almost too busy to realise I had missed my period... Maybe I'm going into early menopause,' I thought, reasoning it made sense at the age of 42. But when I started to have a familiar nauseous feeling, I froze. Surely not. Yet, a pregnancy test confirmed it - I was having baby number five.

Almost 30 years earlier I'd had that same feeling, the same nervous excitement. Only then, I was just 15. I was young and naive and knew deep down that I wasn't ready to become a mum.

I still lived at home with my parents Frances and John, then both 45, and although I had a boyfriend, I still relied on them for everything.

So when my mum marched into my bedroom with a school book, where I'd written about my secret pregnancy before I'd had a chance to tell them, I was mortified. 'I will support you,' said Mum, once the shock had worn off, but I knew I'd disappointed her. I'd dreamt of going to university, and although Mum didn't say it, I knew she was worried I wouldn't pursue my ambitions.

As the weeks passed by, my bump started protruding through my school uniform, and soon my news had circulated around my classmates. 'You'll be a great mum,' friends told me. But I was the only pregnant girl in the school, and I felt the shame follow me. People would stare at my bump when I walked down the street, and although nobody ever made negative comments about my pregnancy to my face, I was well aware of the stigma of being a teenage mum.

In September 1992, Emily was born at Colchester Hospital weighing 7lb 40z. Taking in her soft brown hair and blue eyes, I loved her from the moment I set eyes on her.