'MUMMY ISN'T COMING HOME'

When John Atkins, 44, lost his soulmate, he became a mum as well as a dad

- HADLEY MIDDLETON

As I pull the brush through my daughter Maggie’s hair, she passes me a hair band and smiles a toothy grin. ‘Here you go, Daddy. Remember to tie it tightly.’ Styling Maggie’s hair has been an art I’ve perfected, but I can still remember the struggle of trying to twist the hairband while also pulling the hair through, and Maggie giggling at my botched first ponytail. My wife Ros had always made it look so easy, but since she died, I’ve taken on the role of both Mummy and Daddy which means plaits and ponytails now fall to me. If the last couple of years has taught me anything, it’s that as difficult as something feels to begin with, eventually you’ll find a way through.

KINDRED SPIRITS

Ros and I married in July 2007 after meeting at university. Both teachers, she was my best friend and we were inseparable. Ros was committed to her career and I was proud of her when she became a head teacher. Because of work, we delayed starting a family. But after a few years of trying, our precious gift, Maggie, arrived in April 2016.

Ros adored being a mum and when she returned to work after maternity leave, she made the most of the school holidays, enjoying day trips to the zoo and amazing holidays every year. But when Maggie was five, Ros, then 42, suddenly felt exhausted, experiencing pain in her right side. After a lot of back and forth, eventually she went to hospital for tests. ‘There is a dark shadow on your liver, and we need to investigate further,’ a doctor said. Anxiety set in, and following a colonoscopy, a referral was made to discuss the results. ‘It’s bad news, I can feel it,’ Ros confessed that morning. Her appointment was that afternoon. ‘Let’s not worry yet,’ I said, trying to reassure her. But later, we received the news we’d been dreading.