Listen Up!

The art of being an active listener.

- Santosh Pattanaik

A wise old owl lived in an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke. The less he spoke, the more he heard. Why can't we all be like that wise old owl? We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. In the first few years of life, we're all taught to speak. In fact, it's an important developmental milestone, a sign that a child is developing normally. However, listening is an equally, if not more, important skill that is often overlooked by parents, educators, and bosses. If you always take the position that you know what's best, you will miss opportunities to discover something better.

We've all been there. You're speaking to someone and even though you know they're hearing you, you get the sense that they're not really listening. As frustrating as that can be, most us would probably admit that we've also been the inattentive person on the other side of the equation, as well. It's proof that we could all afford to work on our active listening skills. Writing in the Esquire magazine in 1935, Ernest Hemingway offered this advice to young writers, "When people talk, listen completely... Most people never listen."

In today's high-tech, high-speed, high-stress world, communication is more important than ever, yet we seem to devote less and less time to really listen to one another. Genuine listening has become a rare gift which helps build lasting relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts, and improve accuracy. At work, effective listening means fewer errors and less wasted time. At home, it helps develop resourceful, self-reliant kids who can solve their own problems. Listening builds friendships and careers. It saves money and marriages.