HOW YOUR MOOD AFFECTS THE SEX YOU'RE HAVING

The various emotions you feel can affect your sexual desire (and pleasure) in both obvious and subtle ways. Here’s more.

- Esther Perel

What excites you? What shuts you down? When it comes to sexual desire, we often answer these questions in the form of turnons and turn-offs (example, ‘I like reading erotic novels’ or ‘I hate dirty talk’). It’s rare to answer based on your emotional state.

But the truth is, feelings are powerful enough to act as accelerators or inhibitors for arousal—they can open you up to the idea of having sex with your partner or nix any intimate cravings you might have. And they can work in both subtle and obvious ways: a bad meeting at the office might make you feel too sluggish for sex; a rousing night out with friends might make you feel oddly lusty. Here’s how six common emotions can impact your sex life.

WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY

The sex you and your partner have after you two make a big, positive decision, like deciding to move in together or adopt a pet, is typically more thrilling than your average session. That’s because you’re both experiencing heightened levels of confidence in your bond, and when you feel this connected, every touch or kiss can seem more sensual.