Can A Marriage Survive Without Sex?

As Jack* finds new levels of chemistry with his girlfriend, Nell,* has the spark gone out of his marriage – for good?

I’ve been dating Nell for nearly a year now, while also being married to my wife, Lucy.* But there’s no cheating. This isn’t an affair. It was my wife’s idea, so she knows all about it and also has her own boyfriend, Max. This is polyamory, and it’s almost permanently confusing.

My relationship with Nell was slow to start. I spent many months coming to terms with this new way of living, sometimes consumed with jealousy at Lucy’s frequent trysts, but also keeping my options open with multiple Tinder dates of my own, which even led to the odd one-night stand. Nell, though, was always in the background. She was my first polyamorous date. And now I’ve realised something: I’m in love with her.

This realisation has been brought about, in part, by a new chapter in our sex life. During the first few months, Nell and I were urgent and passionate… but strictly vanilla. Now, though, we feel comfortable enough with each other to be more open about our kinks and fantasies.