A few months ago in Oakland, California, USA, I led my first workshop called Don’t Say Sorry For Embracing Your Sexual Self. I couldn’t really believe that 18 people trusted me, some random person named Jayda aka ‘The Sex-Positive Asian Auntie’ to help them unlearn shame and embrace sexuality. This was a highlight of my new role as a sex educator.
This workshop was based on a podcast I created one year prior, with my friend Haylee Thikeo. Through our podcast called Don’t Say Sorry, we talked about all the lessons our mothers never taught us about sex, relationships, mental health, and other ‘taboo’ topics.
During our first season, we covered break-ups, dating, the concept of virginity, and sprinkled into the entire show, I instinctively shared my perspective on these topics as a survivor of sexual abuse. My complicated history around sexuality and trauma is what informs the work that I do as a sex educator, writer and podcast host.
MY PERSONAL STORY
I was 20 years old the first time I decided to be open about the sexual abuse that I endured as a kid. It was the first day of my senior year of college. I was sitting in my group counselling class with about 30 of my peers and we were listening to our professor share his story about being sexually assaulted at his summer camp when he was young. His experience unexpectedly woke up my own memories; his story ignited my personal fears and my feelings of shame. When he opened the floor to the class to share their thoughts, despite the fact that I was shaking, I decided to raise my hand.
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