We’re talking Saturday night scrolling, seeing an Insta story of your friends hosting a throwback Halloween movie night... and realizing that you weren’t included. Or having to eat your PB&J alone at the corner table during fourth-period lunch because nobody waved you over. Or not catching an invite to your lab partner’s pre-homecoming picture party. (Psst: We know you can’t see us right now, but our hands are in the air, too.)
Yep, being the odd girl out stinks. But rest assured, you’re not alone in feeling alone. Studies have found that nearly 40% of high school students often feel excluded. “I feel left out a lot, and I think it’s mostly because of social media,” says Lauren B., 15. “It seems like every time I open up my phone, there’s stuff going on without me.”
The fact that people are constantly nt updating their feeds has made it easier to discover missed social events. But it doesn’t matter whether you spot a soirée on Snapchat or simply hear about a weekend hangout during Monday morning homeroom—it’s a low feeling either way.
“As human beings, we are built for relationships,” explains Dr. Eli Parrot, an adolescent therapist in Nashville, Tenn. “To be left out means to be disconnected. And that can bring about hurt, decreased self-esteem and feelings of isolation.”
Of course, no one is going to be invited to every single social gathering on the planet (and, tbh, you probably wouldn’t want to attend all of them, either). And, yes, your besties are allowed to have other friends (and it’s OK if you aren’t included in each little meet-up).
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