The quintessential clique of BFFs: You've read about them in books (raise your hand if you've wanted to be an honorary member of The Baby-Sitters Club since elementary school), seen them onscreen (thanks, all 236 episodes of Friends) and scrolled past them on social media (your faves on Riverdale are even besties IRL...sigh). But for many girls, a built-in forever friend group just isn't a reality.
Take Maddy G., 15, for example, who hasn't found her flock yet. "I'm friendly with a lot of people at school, but I don't have one group that I do absolutely everything with," she shares. "I'm kinda jealous of the girls who always have a spot at a table."
Claire B., 14, feels similarly: "I feel like I'm supposed to have a main crew. I just haven't met a bunch of people who all click together yet. But I definitely feel the FOMO when I see big friend groups hanging out on Instagram."
Wanting to fit into a social squad is a natural part of being human, shares therapist Mallory Grimste. "We survive through community and connection. Part of that is feeling like you belong within a friend group," she says.
But the truth is that the majority of teens *don't* have big bunches of BFFs. According to a study done by the Pew Research Center, only one in five adolescents reported having six or more close friends in their crew. "Most of the teens I have worked with do not have a large group of trusted friends," notes Mary King, a counselor based in Baltimore. "When it comes to people that they can rely on no matter what, they have one, two or three at the most."
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