A Mother's Worst Nightmare

From the outside, she looked like a privileged middle-class parent. In private, she’d just discovered her little girl had been sexually abused by her best friend’s partner. This is one woman’s shocking account of what happened next

Three years ago, I was giving my five-year-old daughter a bath when I knew something was horribly wrong. She was sitting cross-legged with her head bowed and kept looking down, avoiding my eyes.

This was so different from the giggly, playful bath times we used to have. My breath caught in my chest as I realised in a flash of horror why my little Alice* seemed so withdrawn, why she couldn’t look at me: it was shame. Why would a five-year-old feel ashamed? My head started spinning, but I told myself, “Stay calm, Catherine. Don’t react. Don’t scare her into not telling you what she’s withholding.” I took a deep breath and asked her, “Alice, has something happened?” She kept staring down at the water and said nothing. I asked her gently, two more times, “Did someone touch you?” Finally, she whispered two words: “Elizabeth’s daddy.”

It was a punch in the stomach. I felt winded – that terrible paralysis you only experience once or twice in your life, the floor sucking you down. I knew the most important thing was that I didn’t show any signs of what I was feeling, or she might be too afraid to say more. I asked her if it had happened when we’d hosted a New Year’s Eve party for our closest friends, including Janet – my best friend since I was 14 – her partner, Michael, and their daughter Elizabeth, who’s Alice’s age. They had stayed overnight. She said yes. I stepped into the hallway and phoned my husband, David, who was at a football match, and told him Michael had done something to Alice when he’d stayed at ours. “What are you talking about? Don’t be crazy,” he said, but he came home.