You may have kissed your virginity buh-bye years ago, but chances are you’ll swipe several V cards throughout adulthood. Many of these sexual experiences cluster around life-altering events – and bring with them climactic twists. Here, experts explain what goes down when you get down after...
...A DATING HIATUS
One word that describes knocking boots with a new dude? Clumsy. No matter how strong the attraction and connection, most couples don’t sync up sexually the very first go-round. Luckily, that unfamiliarity also works in your favour: the anticipation of hopping in the sack with someone new causes dopamine, the “reward” neurochemical, to flood through you, making you acutely aware of incoming information, says Melissa Farmer, psychophysiology and sex expert.
In this state, every unpredictable touch has the power to ignite your arousal and send you writhing toward O Town. That said, if your hookup is having more than a few misfires with his technique, there’s nothing wrong with giving him a sexy little lesson. “Mutual masturbation is a great game of show-and-tell that allows you to teach your partner the types of touch that turn you on, while you watch the strokes that bring him pleasure,” says sex therapist Marissa Nelson.
...A DRY SPELL
If it’s been months since you and your long-term love got horizontal, there are so many things to blame: medication (like some antidepressants); stress, which releases a hormone that inhibits pleasure receptors and deflates arousal; or trust issues (resentment can leave you cold to your partner’s touch). Rather than point the finger and linger there too long, make better use of your time by getting erotically reacquainted.
However, don’t expect a crowd-pleaser on opening night. Pent-up sexual tension can cause your guy to ejaculate quickly, and nerves may prevent you from having an orgasm as easily as you used to, says Nelson. “There are many ways to achieve sexual pleasure outside of penetration, though.
Oral sex, for one, can help you ease your way back into intimacy.”
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