The Mom Divide
Women's Health South Africa|May 2018

Can your relationship with your bestie survive one of you having a baby? Yes... But it’s complicated, say two lifelong pals. Their story reveals how parenthood changed their friendship in ways they never expected 

Andrea Stanley
The Mom Divide

For many women, it’s not love, marriage or a baby carriage that comes first – it’s friendship. In 2016, a Chartmix survey of data from 141 countries found that the average age of first-time moms in many developed countries was on the rise, with Australia, the UK and many European countries averaging between 27 and 31. SA’s average was sitting at a youthful 22.5, according to their findings, but it’s likely that we have women near both ends of the spectrum.

First time pregnancies aside, women in the US who are in their early thirties are having children at a higher rate than those in their twenties.

“Now that most women spend the majority of their twenties – if not all of them – not married and not yet mothers, it creates a space to build emotionally intimate bonds in which their friends can truly feel like family,” says Dr Andrea Bonior, clinical psychologist and author of The Friendship Fix. That means a whole lot of years spent being each other’s plus-ones at events, driving her home after she gets her wisdom teeth pulled and celebrating both of your promotions and big new jobs. It’s the type of relationship so all-encompassing that to classify it as a “friendship” feels thin – the roots run that deep.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM WOMEN'S HEALTH SOUTH AFRICAView all
Irreconcilable Differences?
Women's Health South Africa

Irreconcilable Differences?

You’re one-upping your partner on all health fronts and now your relationship has more tension than your new resistance bands. Here’s how to get over the hurdle of mismatched goals.

time-read
4 mins  |
July - August 2024
Hot And Bothered
Women's Health South Africa

Hot And Bothered

Inflammation is all the rage in health conversations right now and research is establishing it as a major player in all sorts of issues you don't want to deal with. But! You can safeguard yourself from the smokin' internal inferno with these smart strategies.

time-read
3 mins  |
July - August 2024
Self-esteem under the microscope
Women's Health South Africa

Self-esteem under the microscope

The term brings to mind positive-thinking memes with sunset backdrops and swirly lettering. But could I you sum up self-esteem when asked as part of a pub quiz? Didn't think so. And there's more at stake here than winning the points.

time-read
7 mins  |
July - August 2024
the reset
Women's Health South Africa

the reset

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER

time-read
1 min  |
July - August 2024
Mind Over Muscle
Women's Health South Africa

Mind Over Muscle

Could you level up your strength training just by putting your mind to it?

time-read
2 mins  |
July - August 2024
ON BEING THE HEROINE OF YOUR OWN LIFE
Women's Health South Africa

ON BEING THE HEROINE OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Olympian. All-African Games winner. African champion. Record-breaker. Javelin athlete Jo-Ané van Dyk talks mental fortitude and what it takes to live up to your own hype. If there's one thing she can do, it's to throw down. And it's all about to reach peak levels.

time-read
4 mins  |
July - August 2024
Why Women Are Choosing to Be Child-Free
Women's Health South Africa

Why Women Are Choosing to Be Child-Free

The choice can be liberating, yet stigmas persist. Here, how to cut through the noise with clarity and confidence to make the decision that's right for *you.*

time-read
7 mins  |
July - August 2024
FUEL YOUR SKIN
Women's Health South Africa

FUEL YOUR SKIN

Inside your body, there's a crew of unsung protein heroes that scientists believe are the key to a healthy, glowing complexion. Heads-up: your routine is about to change for the better.

time-read
5 mins  |
July - August 2024
How To Be Decisive
Women's Health South Africa

How To Be Decisive

You could use a Magic 8 ball to help you make a choice. Or, while you're waiting to 'ask again later', let our experts explain the best ways to get unstuck.

time-read
5 mins  |
July - August 2024
Build A Strong Base
Women's Health South Africa

Build A Strong Base

You heard it here: the pelvic floor is the forgotten core - and you're selling yourself short by waiting for a specific life stage to train it. Your four-move workout is here.

time-read
1 min  |
July - August 2024