It’s all lavender-scented massages and rose-petalled foot baths... Until you rip a fart or get accosted by product pushers. Turn down the Enya, tune in to this insider intel and (actually) relax
We humans have been spa-obsessed for ages (Turkish Hammam, Roman baths…). Long enough to know that stock images of hot stone-laden backs, soft smiles and dreamily closed eyes are just that: stock images, not reality. And they don’t quite nail the hilarious irony of the spa experience: something that’s supposed to calm you down can totally weird you out. Especially in 2017, when there are more options than ever. (Day spas! Resort spas! Medi-spas! Gym spas!) And then there are all the stress-y questions: how much to strip? How much to tip? Ugh, what if I get my period the day of my treatment? Somebody, help! Don’t stress, we’re going to quieten all those thought bubbles so you can get your Zen on – for real.
AWK-WARD!
Your most common Qs, on a scale from confusing to cringe-worthy
“Am I supposed to leave a tip?” It’s not a requirement, but your therapist will welcome it, not be insulted. And if you had a particularly blissful experience, it’s a generous way to express your satisfaction. SouthAfricanSpas.co.za recommends anything from 10 percent up. Leave the tip at reception in cash and let the receptionist know who it’s for.
“I got a coupon for a spa and they offer free bubbly. May I indulge?” A glass of bubbly probably won’t hurt, but any more than that might make you more sensitive to pressure during a rubdown. Skip heavy meals and coffee while you’re at it. They’ll just make you less comfortable on the treatment table and dampen your (expensive) experience.
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