By definition, solo polyamory means having several intimate relationships without a primary partner. One chooses to have a single, independent life in the midst of a vibrant dating circle with multiple meaningful connections.
When Sejuti Biswas (name changed) learnt about the phrase in June 2020, she had an epiphany of sorts. Just before lockdown started in March, Biswas, a Delhi-based freelance publishing professional, was fresh off a breakup. While isolating in her two-room flat, she reached out to her once-distant neighbour, college friends, cousins, mother, random dates, her two cats, and her paintbrushes to become functional again. Theoretically, she knew that it took a sum total of all relationships to feel happy and complete, and not just a romantic partner. But it was really a pandemic-induced lockdown that made her get off the "relationship-escalator"-the bundle of social scripts on how a romantic union is supposed to develop, from attraction and love to sex, cohabitation, marriage and children. "I have had a lot of romance in the conventional sense but that hasn't led to a primary partner," says Biswas, now 39. "Initially, I was not okay with it, but later I realised it is such a great thing. It is like you don't have anything to lose. I discovered that every experience is an end in itself. I felt quite free." There are multiple combinations that are acceptable now. "People can have sex without getting attached. People can only be emotionally attached. They can only meet once a year. Or, communicate only via text. Or, never meet at all. All of it is valid," says Biswas, enumerating the many patterns and permutations in her own love life.
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